Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just forgot I was standing up.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
