I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
