Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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