She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
