Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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