What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
where am i from again
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
