I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
