The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
one might say we're banned from that church
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
