idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
