I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
vagina is talking i cant
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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