Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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