She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
