Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
