If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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