nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize