Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
