I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
