We're facebook friends in real life
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
