In the future we'll all be gay
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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