This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I love having hate sex.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he fucked my hip out of place.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
