You really coming over, don't trick.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize