So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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