If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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