): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
