definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
