hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
