The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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