you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
