I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
