wat bout pragnant strippers??
No stitches, just platelets and will power
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
