When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
