Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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