You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
