are you still at the devil's house?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
