Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
