i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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