You smell like a Billy Joel song
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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