I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
