Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
