im drinking this country out of the recession.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
