She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Randomize
