Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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