thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
