Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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