these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
