ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
