He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
