I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize
