Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
NoShamevember. You game?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
