none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
