Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
