he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
