she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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