onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
