I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
