I'm gonna have a badass scar
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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