Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
