Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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