I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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