Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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