covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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