We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
