Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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