i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
