Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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