Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
