dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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