marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
